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soliaceleste
Novice

Posts: 3

Save Me Jan 10, 2004 18:22:36 GMT -5

Quote

Post by soliaceleste on Jan 10, 2004 18:22:36 GMT -5

Save me

I cannot release this swelling burst of emotion
It breaks me and withers my heart
Save me from this world and its chaotic notion
I refuse to be other than a person apart
but this world does not allow that option
Forced to conform, no end no start
just mediocre blend of selfish motion
I am broken, a statistic on a chart
My soul is laid bare from the world’s erosion
And with others like it, it shall impart

While the wicked stand confounded, call me with thy saints surrounded.

bloodredtears Legend I don't entirely think I've had enough rum to allow that kind of talk. Posts: 1,164	Save Me Jan 10, 2004 23:52:05 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by bloodredtears on Jan 10, 2004 23:52:05 GMT -5 cool...short, sweet and too the point...i like it!
	Poetry copyright of Bloodredtears Summer has flown its nest, as the days swiftly turn to fall and we start to roost in the bosom of winter.

SilverEyes Poet Laureate Silver eyes crying crimson tears. Posts: 609	Save Me Jan 16, 2004 23:52:37 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by SilverEyes on Jan 16, 2004 23:52:37 GMT -5 All to often I've felt like that. Very true and great write.
	You know I'm dying to live Until I'm ready I'm ready to die ~Jonny Lang~

amberputis
Virtuoso

~Dreams are determined by our hearts, and our dreams design the future~

Posts: 330

Save Me Jan 18, 2004 15:50:20 GMT -5

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Post by amberputis on Jan 18, 2004 15:50:20 GMT -5

This has got to be one of my favorite poems on this site, or possibly even in general. I'm not exactly sure why i liked it so much, but i really did. I guess I can relate to the same thoughts mentioned in this poem, about how 'this world does not allow that option'. Keep writing like this, you now have a big fan!!

Amber

Wolf
Apprentice

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Posts: 124

Save Me Feb 21, 2004 1:42:21 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Wolf on Feb 21, 2004 1:42:21 GMT -5

This is a very well done and concise presentation of the price of individuality... very well expressed and done.


    I refuse to be other than a person apart
    but this world does not allow that option

Indeed... yet; being apart from that world in ones private life is possible; painful to make that transition, leaving behind and no longer dealing with those who profess their "friendship", yes - very painful - but that pain does pass...

Continue refusing to be other than a person apart - there are others too who are indeed apart - while the world around them goes blithely, ingorantly on its way, never seeing them... never seeing us.

Wolf

Not only the dead haunt the living

Eclipse Apprentice It's not a matter of luck, it's just a matter of time. Posts: 222	Save Me Feb 21, 2004 9:31:32 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Eclipse on Feb 21, 2004 9:31:32 GMT -5 a lovely write. I liked your rhyme scheme.
	You saw what you get If you take what you take. Look in the eyes of the test. It's all because... Now there's a feeling I get. When I look to the left. But we can never be sensed. Our searching for a sign.

Chaotic_Thetis Apprentice Bleed me! For i have witnessed yet remained silent.Slay me! For i had your love and kept it. Posts: 142	Save Me Feb 21, 2004 14:54:32 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Chaotic_Thetis on Feb 21, 2004 14:54:32 GMT -5 True enough i must say, very hard hitting, no sugar coats, yet lately that's all i've been reading. It's a fairly decent piece of poetry with a nice structure to it and underlying message.
	Last Edit: Feb 23, 2004 19:02:56 GMT -5 by Outcast A woman who choses the writing profession often does so as to give herself a rank within a male-dominated society

sweetest17sin Virtuoso don't frown! you never know who's falling in love with your smile! Posts: 252	Save Me Feb 22, 2004 21:44:06 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by sweetest17sin on Feb 22, 2004 21:44:06 GMT -5 well i think that was a kool pome you did not take it easy you just told it how it was i like that i a person
	Last Edit: Feb 23, 2004 19:05:01 GMT -5 by Outcast somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile, so when you are lonely remember it's true; somebody, somewhere is thinking of you!

leash Guest	Save Me Feb 26, 2004 18:03:48 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by leash on Feb 26, 2004 18:03:48 GMT -5 excellent work! the flow of this piece was exceptional.

X x K e l Z x X Chapter Leader Just Me Posts: 1,035	Save Me Apr 1, 2004 20:12:21 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by X x K e l Z x X on Apr 1, 2004 20:12:21 GMT -5 short and powerful, saying a lot in a few words, good job!
	~~KelZ~~ Z e p h y r Poet Club Administrative Assistant

Post by soliaceleste on Jan 10, 2004 18:22:36 GMT -5

Post by bloodredtears on Jan 10, 2004 23:52:05 GMT -5

Post by SilverEyes on Jan 16, 2004 23:52:37 GMT -5

Post by amberputis on Jan 18, 2004 15:50:20 GMT -5

Post by Wolf on Feb 21, 2004 1:42:21 GMT -5

Post by Eclipse on Feb 21, 2004 9:31:32 GMT -5

Post by Chaotic_Thetis on Feb 21, 2004 14:54:32 GMT -5

Post by sweetest17sin on Feb 22, 2004 21:44:06 GMT -5

Post by leash on Feb 26, 2004 18:03:48 GMT -5

Post by X x K e l Z x X on Apr 1, 2004 20:12:21 GMT -5