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Post by kemleth on Feb 24, 2004 6:51:20 GMT -5
What should I believe. I'm pulling away at the seems of me, Is no boundary sacred? You give your word, but no one realy means it, right? So why should I fight? I can't see the light, I'm blind. So look in your mirror, What do you find? Possessed by the everyday pain, So pull the trigger and end your migrain. That's the way America says it should be. Take a real good look at me, Cause you aren't what you sem to be, Don't plead, just bleed. Everyone keeps screeming, "Let me be here!" They're asking, "Why change? No one else does." When all they need, another wake up call, but I can taste the numbness of my face. You guys want pain? "YEAH!" Broken Hearts and shattered dreams? "YEAH!" Manic violence and a sex queen? "HELL YEAH!" Well don't look to me. Above a stattistic, I'm way past heretic. I may look like a hypocrit, but thats cause I blew your whole system. Now feast on my thesis: Lifes the way life is cause everyone is too gutless, With no more direction than a broken compass. Beyond reasonible doubt, No one shouts for their hero, Its for the drugs. People lay in their comfort zones, Above a reaction, A falsified distraction, To tear at the ones they love.
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Post by bloodredtears on Feb 24, 2004 14:33:43 GMT -5
wonderful piece..i really like the ending especially...good job!
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Post by kemleth on Feb 24, 2004 20:38:54 GMT -5
I dunno if this one is too good. I think it still needs some work... The words kinda run together and I dont think it gets the feeling of frustration across too well... I always try to leave the point of the subject at hand to the reader, as best as possible. So this is open to mild interpretation. I never come out and give examples of what I am talking about, I leave that to your imagination. I desire that through reading this you can releive yourself of the same frustration that I vented.
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Post by SilverEyes on Feb 27, 2004 19:22:03 GMT -5
I like the ending because it adds to the "anger/frustration" level and makes it more powerful.
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Celestial
Novice
Celestial.Photographer.Poet.
Posts: 72
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Post by Celestial on Feb 29, 2004 13:46:30 GMT -5
I'd have to agree with SilverEyes on this one. But I enjoyed reading it
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Seth
Virtuoso
Root Beer Float
Play something country!
Posts: 411
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Post by Seth on Mar 24, 2004 13:21:53 GMT -5
Incredible ending, this was a wonderful piece...
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Post by rinna(on leave...for eternity) on May 9, 2004 2:11:18 GMT -5
enjoyed. this was some dark work, nicely done.
x rinna x
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