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Post by bloodredtears on Dec 11, 2003 11:07:15 GMT -5
The World is my Toy
fighting in the streets
bleeding in the ditch
things I shouldn't do
but I always get that itch
that itch to do bad
that itch to destroy
the itch to make believe
that the world is MY toy
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Post by leash on Dec 12, 2003 1:10:39 GMT -5
ah, a very interesting point of view. i used to get that feeling all the time with burning things.. almost like an addiction.
thanks for sharing your work with us.
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Post by Persephone on Dec 12, 2003 3:13:00 GMT -5
I like the rhyming, makes it flow slower, not making a lull. Nice job.
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Post by bloodredtears on Dec 12, 2003 12:42:01 GMT -5
thanks both of you...this was my anger stage...it really didn't last all that long!
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Chaotic_Thetis
Apprentice
Bleed me! For i have witnessed yet remained silent.Slay me! For i had your love and kept it.
Posts: 142
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Post by Chaotic_Thetis on Dec 17, 2003 13:53:58 GMT -5
Indeed, it was short yet effective, the lack of punctuation made it smooth and without, as Persephone said "lulling" the reader. Nicely done ^_^
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Post by John Barnett on Jan 6, 2004 14:02:38 GMT -5
Very good, I enjoyed this.
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Post by SilverEyes on Jan 14, 2004 19:15:34 GMT -5
I get the "itch" to go and destroy stuff too. You just describe it better.  |
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Post by bloodredtears on Jan 16, 2004 12:30:03 GMT -5
thanks everyone for replying...
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Post by Beskhu3epnm on Jan 24, 2004 18:01:23 GMT -5
That's pretty cool! I like the effect of the rhyming.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2004 15:02:54 GMT -5
Ooh. Depressing and bitter. Loved it. Loved how it all rhymed. Eee. Great job.
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Post by T.J. Barber on Feb 16, 2004 11:22:34 GMT -5
I loved it. Great job Kris!...
Your getting better everyday..
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Post by bloodredtears on Feb 16, 2004 15:20:46 GMT -5
thanks everyone...this poem is actually pretty old i think...like from last march maybe...quite old really
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Post by richie on Feb 19, 2004 7:56:16 GMT -5
Hi bloodredtears, enjoyed this one, short with good rhyme well done.
take care Richie.
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Celestial
Novice
Celestial.Photographer.Poet.
Posts: 72
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Post by Celestial on Feb 29, 2004 13:39:30 GMT -5
I can really relate to this poem. I have always thought that world is my toy and if I want to destroy something I can do so. Very nice write, I like it a lot.
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Post by ::..::FoX::..:: on Mar 23, 2004 14:08:36 GMT -5
Ah, this is great, I love the attitude you have here
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