Fool

[alostandbrokensoul]

In the ditch there is my car
my visions blurred
it seems so far
I feel no pain
though my blood surrounds me
my eyes are heavy
I no longer can see
the windshield shattered
the glass in my face
stabbing my body
as my heart begins to race
lieing there in shock
wondering how I survived
an angel flies from heaven
telling me I died
how can I be dead
after only one drink
but my head is spinning fastly
as I try so hard to think
I was there a second ago
so how could I be dead?
when I didn't even know
for me what lay ahead
but I took the beer
and wanted to be cool
lost control of the wheel
and ended up a fool.

[rinna(on leave...for eternity)]

vivid imagery here, well done!
x r x

[_black phoenix_]

but my head is spinning fastly

This just sounds really strange..

I didn't find the imagery to be all that vivid.. You explained what happened, but didn't really go into much detail. Maybe if you expanded upon the smells, sounds, emotions, etc. at the scene, it would help your readers relate a little more and experience what the "victim" went through.

Eh, i dont know. If you're looking to improve this piece that would definately be the way to go. If not, just ignore that last bit.