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goodbye
Apr 28, 2004 18:27:03 GMT -5
Post by rinna(on leave...for eternity) on Apr 28, 2004 18:27:03 GMT -5
my heavy heart
finally outweighed
by my heavy head
my weaving shadow dances
beyond my reach
makes me dizzy
dizzy
dizzy
small red rubies
break free
from the ribbons
under my skin
as they kiss the ground
dusty umbrellas take embrace
in preparation for
torrential rains
and the floodgates
of my sorrow
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goodbye
May 4, 2004 10:40:08 GMT -5
Post by bloodredtears on May 4, 2004 10:40:08 GMT -5
very interesting piece...the description of the red rubies and the ribbon is very cool...great job!
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goodbye
May 4, 2004 18:40:26 GMT -5
Post by rinna(on leave...for eternity) on May 4, 2004 18:40:26 GMT -5
brt,
thanks for reading. i'm not very good at metaphors but this worked well for me. something new...
x rinna x
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Horn
Novice
Give me wings; I want to fly with someone by my side, wherever the wind takes us
Posts: 66
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goodbye
May 4, 2004 18:44:20 GMT -5
Post by Horn on May 4, 2004 18:44:20 GMT -5
yeah rinna, this one is good too, I especially like your metaphors in this piece  |
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goodbye
May 4, 2004 18:50:34 GMT -5
Post by rinna(on leave...for eternity) on May 4, 2004 18:50:34 GMT -5
horn, thank you! x rinna x  |
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JC4life
Novice
Sometimes people are more than they seem. Try looking past appearance.
Posts: 49
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Post by JC4life on May 5, 2004 0:55:12 GMT -5
For somebody who's not very good with metaphores, you do an awesome job. This is very sad, but ver much enjoied |
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Post by Alex'z Death Chic on May 5, 2004 7:49:40 GMT -5
wow... I can't pick a fave line.... its one of those pieces that make you smile because of the truth it states. The metaphors were a nice touch too. Excellent write, rinna  |
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goodbye
May 5, 2004 23:35:34 GMT -5
Post by rinna(on leave...for eternity) on May 5, 2004 23:35:34 GMT -5
jc,
yeah well i'm trying, it's paying off thank god...metaphor queen ahoy! haha, jk.
adc,
i'm glad you enjoyed this, i like it a lot too.
x rinna x
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