graduaL

[Deleted]

There are many things that you don't know,
a lot of things I don't let show.
And if you were ever
going to venture
in my mind,
I'll give you this warning.
I'm not fine.
I'm still mourning
over the dead.
And while I bled
over and over from the cuts on my skin,
I'm slowly letting this darkness win.
I'm slowly letting them corrupt,
and I'm slowly letting it all erupt
from my heart...
Where should I start?
My soul is cold,
and my voice is old.
I can't grab hold
of what lies before us all.
Slowly, I fall...
Slowly I lie
upon a bed,
and slowly I die.
and slowly I'm dead.

--

[AN] I'm not really proud of this. Just wondering what you all thought. Wrote it while listening to some Linkin Park. Hee.

[bloodredtears]

very interesting piece...did it seem hard to get some of the rhymes??? some of them seemed like a stretch...but it was really good!

[serenepoetress]

As I read this it reminded me of how much we keep to ourselves. The line: "There are many things that you don't know, a lot of things I don't let show." is true of so many of us...I enjoyed the piece~

[SilverEyes]

I fear this is happening to me quite steadily. Nice write.

[Deleted]

Hnn... It kind of was a bit hard for rhyming, but yeah... Anywho, thansk, all, for comments.

[Mikhael]

i didn't think you were stretching with the rhymes. it sounded like linkin park who i just happen to be listening to. meteora is good, no? i really like this piece, i like the flow, especially the end, from "my soul is cold" although the rest of it was good too. that just stood out. it had a very good, final, ending, good job with this.

[Celestial]

It was a nice poem for what it is for. It portrays images for me nicely and I enjoyed reading it!