DeadByMorning
Novice
shattered in lies, looking up to the crimson sky...above all is peaceful
Posts: 24
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Post by DeadByMorning on Mar 23, 2004 12:14:09 GMT -5
Standing in the rain, waiting, miracle, Cold as ever without you... But why can't I step close to you Or off the edge to forget you?
The ghosts, they whisper for me
Standing on the bridge, the water's peaceful, It's you I'm thinking of, Wishing for somethingI'll never have, Aching for your love.
The wind shatters your lies into nothing
Standing on the corner of 5th and Main, Waiting for something that will never come; I wish you'd take this pain away, Dull the feelings, make them numb.
The shadows take you away, set you free
Walking through the evening sun, Staring at the coming night, I wish you'd share it with me, I thought you could make things right.
All the love's gone that I'd thought you'd bring.
Every corridor screams your name, All the stars carve your face, The moon slices memories into my mind, I'm laying here, waiting for your embrace.
I thought you could take the pain away
There's a flood going on in my room, I can't bear to go back there now, There are too many memories there, Go back now? That, I can't allow.
I can't be ignorant to the sight of your face.
Whisper to me in the depth of the night, Tell me everything will be all right. I crave your kisses, your eyes so bright, And your embrace, oh so tight.
You won't come back to me, you won't stay
Laying in my moonlit bed, Feeling the ghost of you beside me, I need your touch again, Kiss me again; one, two, three.
You know, no one could ever take your place.
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Post by bloodredtears on Mar 23, 2004 17:10:17 GMT -5
i really like the format of this piece...there wasn't any line or group of lines that really stood out, cuz it was all wonderful...great job!
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Chaotic_Thetis
Apprentice
Bleed me! For i have witnessed yet remained silent.Slay me! For i had your love and kept it.
Posts: 142
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Post by Chaotic_Thetis on Mar 24, 2004 13:29:02 GMT -5
Indeed, nicely written and all together it read rather well ^_^
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Hunter
Virtuoso
Fallen Angel
Posts: 287
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Post by Hunter on Apr 2, 2004 5:03:51 GMT -5
Well written.
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Post by Mikepoet on Apr 15, 2004 17:59:46 GMT -5
So painful Hawkette and so beautiful. This is one of my favorites of yours.
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Post by Mikepoet on Apr 15, 2004 18:00:40 GMT -5
So painful Hawkette and so beautiful. This is one of my favorites of yours.
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imaginary goddess #5
Novice
shape me into something I never will be, and you'll find out this facade was an escape from reality.
Posts: 69
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Post by imaginary goddess #5 on Apr 16, 2004 19:17:50 GMT -5
Hey, erm, DeadbyMorning. Lol. Anyways, I loved the lines that Hawk pointed out as well. They seemed to stand out. And I like ur format. wonderful
! Lianna !
-------------------------------- friend: "What's she gonna do now?!" friend 2: "I dun wanna know." Lia: "... nothing" friend 1: "oh no.. wait Lia, no!!" friend 2: "don't do it!" *both cover eyes* *Lia laughs evilily*
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