Glutton for Pain

[John Barnett]

Why am I such a glutton for pain
Some would say that I'm insane
But you suck me into your world
And I get lost, spinning in a whirl
If I dig your scene, will you be mean
Will you turn my dreams into reality
You tell me to keep the motor running
And I can hear your engine humming
But I don't think I'm going anywhere
I feel as if I'm getting stuck in a rut here
So tell me, will you reincarnate me if I die
Will you give me wings to help me fly
If I crash and burn due to your torture
Or will you leave me there to rust
As a result of my sinful lust
I now beg on my humble knees
Show me a little bit of love, please

[Alex'z Death Chic]

very interesting... I like it... I even hummed a melody with the words without noticing... maybe coz it flows so much like a song...

[Seth]

Excellent piece, very nioce... The flow and the words used were fantastic. It definitely could become a song... Terrific write.

[John Barnett]

It's very interesting that you guys should say that, I had written a couple of songs prior to writing this poem and I too felt like I was still in the song writing mode.

[sweetest17sin]

over all i liked this poem. i dont know if you want critique or not. the only part that confused me was

"So tell me, will you reincarnate me if I die
Will you give me wings to help me fly
If I crash and burn due to your torture
Or will you leave me there to rust"

i dont know if the first three lines are supposed to go together saying that because of the torture, the previous things would happen and asking if that is what would happen and then the fourth line is supposed to stand alone just wondering that simple thing. if that is the case, it makes sense. the reason i am confused is because when i first read it, it just seemed like the or was out of place because there was nothing to compare it to. i think it would help the poem to take the or out. or maybe instead of saying "or will you leave me there to die" say, "or if i crash and burn to your torture, will you leave me there to die". just a suggestion.