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Post by amelie on Dec 31, 2003 2:25:44 GMT -5
When I was six,........................It was pick up sticks, Stick ‘em down your throat, .....Make yourself sick, Shove ‘em in the freezer,..........Give the lolly a lick, Stuff ‘em up your nose, ............ Like a bogie pick.
Then, at seven I saved planet earth, Dressed in space suit of mother-of-pearl; I did it by bedtime and, for what it’s worth, The boys said I done alright for a girl.
From eight to ten, I lived as a horse, Unbridled and prancing and free; I had to pretend I was still human, of course, But discovered I could hide the true me.
Then, somewhere in my teens I lost My rhythm and poise as a child; Off pace through stumbling, stilted days, The rhyme scheme stuttering and jarred; Unredeemable shame for legs uncrossed, Misshapen, blood conscious and wild; Frustrated to rage at trifles in ways That left me bitter, contrary and hard.
Now past those times, To look back with eyes That have learned How not to cry For what was lost; Upon a past now Veiled by passion spent, Even as memories stir And swirl like mist About the lingering regret That claws and rends At paths not taken, The chances missed; I take the time to listen to Those others I once was, Hoping the boys Got it right when they said: She done alright for a girl.
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Post by bloodredtears on Jan 8, 2004 17:11:53 GMT -5
very interesting...i really like the idea behind this one...great job!
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Post by SilverEyes on Jan 15, 2004 23:50:37 GMT -5
Cool idea and great write.
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Mikhael
Novice
...and love is not a victory march/it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah...
Posts: 30
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Post by Mikhael on Feb 8, 2004 11:49:55 GMT -5
this is a really nice piece. especially the fourth stanza. you describe it well, and make the whole thing seem absolutely ludicrous. and as it is, you've done your job pretty well.... for a girl..... (sorry. couldn't resist) this is a nice poem. i like your style.
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Post by amelie on Feb 8, 2004 13:31:14 GMT -5
hahaha i love the humour .. all my reviews should be seen in that context hahahahah
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