her name bad kitty and a girl called kill

[pig]

the girl called kill came a calling again
with her name bad kitty and her street-life freind.
she almost gave me something sober,
but then i lost my head
said:
i'll be dead again on friday,
you can catch me then.

and for all the light that the sun can shine
theresa shadow all over this summer time.
and whilst her name bad kitty's
getting wasted on wine
i turn my head
right round
and i cover my eyes.

so we hit the town, out to paint it red,
with her name bad kitty i will end up dead.
its late enough to care
but nothings ever said,
as the girl called kill
breaks into my head.

just then that girl came a walking this way
but her name bad kitty took her off to play,
and im picking up my peices
try to get my fill and
hope i dont fall in love
with the girl called kill.

[SilverEyes]

A very interesting write

[bloodredtears]

um...i really didn't follow this piece very well...i'm not quite exactly what the point was...but it was well written

[leash]

you are definately my favourite poet on this site. you have the most captivating style that i have ever come across.

excellent work. i look forward to more.

[pig]

thank you, all of you, for taking the time to read. i gotta say im glad i recieved this random email that sent me here, its not often that you recieve honest and varied opinions from one site.

[leash]

i gotta say im glad i recieved this random email that sent me here, its not often that you recieve honest and varied opinions from one site.

actually, the email wasnt random at all. all the poets who i emailed invitations to were poets who had talented and interesting poetry that i had previously read on other poetry sites.

[Eclipse]

wow...you have a very interesting style. I like it. It's refreshing.

[T.J. Barber]

It's....well.....it's...it's something..

[amelie]

my honest view, pig, (i dont actually like calling you that lol), is that you have the makings of a truly exceptional talent. i loved this poem and to me it doesnt matter what the meaning behind it was. i could leave it at that and just say great, wonderful etc etc. however, because i do believe you are potentialy exceptionsl, i will be bold enough to say. that this poem is good, but flawed. it needs reworking into perfection. you should not let it go, but persevere till every last syllable is absolutley the way you want it and dont waste a single word. you realy do have talent. now you owe it to yourself to hone and refine that talent. put this poem up for extensive critique. take the knocks, and improve. dont let your originalty go. thast what is so precious and what you have in abunndance. i believe you could quote from the telephone directory and make it interesting...you must now work at your undoubterd atristic talent

[pig]

...um...wow...

you serious?

[amberputis]

this poem excited me, it's extremely well written with an incredible idea behind it....awesome

[Todd]

Hmm...Good write.Interesting.It seems to me the theme of this poem is don't fall for the wrong kind of woman.I can relate.It's a jungle out there. I agree with the others,you have a talent,keep writing.

[Chaotic_Thetis]

Trust Melis to fill in the motivational speech with constructive advice ^_^ I agree basically with what's already been said, it's good, but could be reworked and moulded into something better.

[imaginary goddess #5]

As many have said before - this is a very interesting piece. I do think you need some finishing touches, but exceptional talent.

- Lianna


"And there she was, my Muse
In the form of a girl
Perched upon the window seat
Staring, glaring at the chaos that
Is the world" - Lianna

[JosephScottMorris]

This is a good poem and I agree that with some rework, it would be great! ;DJoe