Post by amelie on Jan 23, 2004 16:36:00 GMT -5
I was asked to decide
On my future career
Now I had finally died.
So I followed the crowd
And applied like the rest
For a harp and a cloud ,
Not sure if I’d be allowed
To get in without a test
But thought it worth a try
To hang out with the best,
Figured I might just get by….man.
But when I tried those wings,
They just didn’t look right,
Itchy and heavy
And painfully tight,
And I knew it would be a bore,
All the hymning and praying,
My shoulders aching and sore
From the flapping and swaying
In seraphic harmony,
And not my kind of music,
It has to be said;
An angel simply ain’t me…man.
Go where the fun is
Has always been my rule,
And good career prospects
In various undead projects
Could be had in Lucifer’s host,
And horns are always in fashion,
But what would tempt me most
Are the dreadlock extensions,
Which have always been my passion
And make me look utterly cool….man.
Working with people would
Be high on my list,
And some shape shifting
Would add extra spice.
As a vampire I could squeeze
Under doors as a mist,
And night work sounds very nice.
The job certainly has flare
And I think I’d look the part
With diamond studded fangs,
Along with puff adder bangs,
Dodging stakes through the heart
In cool designer underwear….man.
But as a woman I admit,
Lycanthropy does not fit.
I’m not into wailing and howling,
And clawing and scowling,
And the thought of the grooming
All that thick matted hair
Would be so tiring and taxing
That even assuming
I had something decent to wear,
I just know Id be constantly waxing…man.
Maybe a high tech witch
Will be what I decide;
No broom, but rather I’d switch
To an off road Dyson vacuum cleaner
As a more modern way to ride,
And instead of a cauldron
I'd brew up a spell
In a brand new microwave:
Varied temperature control as well;
Think of the time that will save;
I am sure it will be lots;
Those newts’ livers and toads’ brains
Get so encrusted inside those pots…man.
And I have always liked cats,
Especially under sedation,
And went out for years with a rat.
When I was alive on earth,
I trained as a chemist, so my education
Will be something of worth
In my chosen career.
I will fly into your dreams
In the cutest black mini,
Instilling loathing and fear,
But looking sexy and skinny;
So all you mother-cuddlers out there,
I tell you, beware!
Because I'm coming for you,
And don’t you dare diss me,
Or try and cuddle or kiss me,
Because that would just piss me;
So you better take care….man
(The alarm rings)
Dam…
