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Post by leash on Jan 20, 2004 1:21:50 GMT -5
fins ripple through the sea.
her body turns and spirals,
dancing along the currents in a wave of beauty.
she slides through dark fluid.
twisting scales reflect the soft moonlight,
glinting in the morbid waters.
an eel passes,
slithering and smirking.
he casts an eye in her direction,
sinister red.
she shudders and continues at a quicker pace.
_____
just so you know, this is an oldie. ive had a bit of writers block for the last few months..
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Post by bloodredtears on Jan 20, 2004 17:42:54 GMT -5
very good description in this piece...i like how you have an eel represent evil...and the mermaid beauty...great job! i know all about writers block and old poems are just as great to read as new ones!
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Post by SilverEyes on Jan 20, 2004 18:27:29 GMT -5
Beautiful piece and a wonderful description of the mermaid. I especially love the line, "glinting in morbid waters."
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Post by leash on Jan 21, 2004 1:56:26 GMT -5
thanks a lot guys. its so nice to get some feedback  |
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Post by T.J. Barber on Feb 3, 2004 11:55:29 GMT -5
I never really gave any thought to mermainds. But, I guess if I had to imagine what one might look like, this would be the very description come to mind. Good job.
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Post by Persephone on Feb 4, 2004 4:07:38 GMT -5
interesting use of words.
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Post by John Barnett on Feb 24, 2004 14:29:18 GMT -5
Great imagery
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