Eclipse
Apprentice
It's not a matter of luck, it's just a matter of time.
Posts: 222
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Post by Eclipse on Aug 19, 2004 21:46:05 GMT -5
Whenever I leave you, my heart stills
The nervous patter beneath my breast.
Will I ever grow to the potential you bluntly offer?
Is it so much to grasp an out-stretched hand?
To answer the question: Yes, Your confusion derives from mine.
And you look back with hopeful winter eyes,
But I can’t always help falling a step behind.
Loving in reluctance, feigning truthful claims;
There’s snow in the summer of my heart.
It is injustice, and you’re right.
(This fetid stench of decaying words)
So I’d rather you ignored my falsities.
This loving game, this tug-of-war;
How can your patience be the breeze?
Poignantly sharp with clarity, you carry me away.
now, i'm not much a romantic poet, but this was for an english assignment. Egyptian pastoral poetry.
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Seth
Virtuoso
Root Beer Float
Play something country!
Posts: 411
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Post by Seth on Aug 22, 2004 9:04:39 GMT -5
The wording was fantastic. Love your choice of words and how nicely this read.
Wonderful write.
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Post by bloodredtears on Aug 27, 2004 22:46:39 GMT -5
i agree with Seth, this was a wonderful write...and sometimes it takes an assignment to break us into the realms of poetry we don't usually use...you have the makings of a wonderful romantic writer!
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Post by Alex'z Death Chic on Sept 11, 2004 9:49:08 GMT -5
damn! wish I had your talent... that was just... whoa... AWESOME I TELL YA!  |
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Post by rinna(on leave...for eternity) on Sept 26, 2004 5:31:18 GMT -5
eclipse, wow, it's been a while since i've read you! there's been a lot of growth with your writing - i absolutely adore this piece.  rinna |
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