NeverMore
Virtuoso
Beethoven Looking f*g
Posts: 454
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Post by NeverMore on May 21, 2004 2:58:36 GMT -5
They tell us
love is not
demanding
destructive
greedy
selfish
hurtful
they tell us
love is
giving
sharing
patient
free
But I say
I love you now
I want you now
I want to demand
I want to be selfish
I want to hurt any who get in the way
I do not want patience
I want now
I want only to share with you
I want to be free to touch you
most of all
I love you
That is what i say
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Post by bloodredtears on May 21, 2004 17:02:45 GMT -5
interesting theory...good piece to go with the theory...the ending seemed a little rough...maybe that last line isn't completely neccessary...i think ending it with "i love you" would be just fine  anyway..that's one opinion..and you didn't ask it...but over all its good! |
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NeverMore
Virtuoso
Beethoven Looking f*g
Posts: 454
|
Post by NeverMore on May 21, 2004 18:00:59 GMT -5
Ok *L* for the first time I will explain that last line.. I have been asked several times why it is there, because it does simply not fit... to be quite honest, this poem was written as a result of a statment someone mde to me and they finished with, "well, what do you say to that?" True, it does not fit, but I leave it in, if for no other reason then it does not fit and that is me in all ways you look at it, I do not fit.. I hope  |
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anyway..that's one opinion..and you didn't ask it...but over all its good!