hands

pig Novice Posts: 25	hands Feb 4, 2004 17:51:29 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by pig on Feb 4, 2004 17:51:29 GMT -5 and when i hold your hand, id just like to thank you for holding back. when you lie with me... and we both touch... i like to think alot about that.

SilverEyes Poet Laureate Silver eyes crying crimson tears. Posts: 609	hands Feb 4, 2004 18:16:23 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by SilverEyes on Feb 4, 2004 18:16:23 GMT -5 The first stanza is beautiful.
	You know I'm dying to live Until I'm ready I'm ready to die ~Jonny Lang~

bloodredtears Legend I don't entirely think I've had enough rum to allow that kind of talk. Posts: 1,164	hands Feb 4, 2004 19:01:21 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by bloodredtears on Feb 4, 2004 19:01:21 GMT -5 it's quite abrupt....after the first stanza i was prepared to be amazed, and it was a good 2nd stanza, but not the direction i was expecting for this...
	Poetry copyright of Bloodredtears Summer has flown its nest, as the days swiftly turn to fall and we start to roost in the bosom of winter.

serenepoetress Apprentice Posts: 84	hands Feb 5, 2004 0:49:49 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by serenepoetress on Feb 5, 2004 0:49:49 GMT -5 such a sweet write... lovely
	Copyright 2004 Laura Mae Oldham-Brownell

sweetest17sin Virtuoso don't frown! you never know who's falling in love with your smile! Posts: 252	hands Feb 12, 2004 0:54:23 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by sweetest17sin on Feb 12, 2004 0:54:23 GMT -5 short and sweet! good job!
	somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile, so when you are lonely remember it's true; somebody, somewhere is thinking of you!

pig
Novice

Posts: 25

hands Feb 12, 2004 13:26:51 GMT -5

Quote

Post by pig on Feb 12, 2004 13:26:51 GMT -5

thanks. blooodredtears. it was supposed to be short and abrupt. i guess i thought, 'love' is a tricky one, and i thought if i reemed off descriptions and a handful of metaphors and so on, it would not represent that spark that you cant quite explain anyway. you just gotta feel it.

Last Edit: Feb 13, 2004 15:39:53 GMT -5 by pig

T.J. Barber
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I would advise you to stay on my good side!!!

Posts: 937

hands Feb 12, 2004 13:45:55 GMT -5

Quote

Post by T.J. Barber on Feb 12, 2004 13:45:55 GMT -5

I agree Kris, I thought it was very good. It was indeed though prevoking. I enjoyed reading it very much.
It was extremely short and very abrupt in it's ending but, that is what makes it so great. To me it represents the true nature of a love affair which can be very, very, abrupt and end very quickly. Great Write Pig.

No man is an island in itself...Therefore, never send for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for the''

Eclipse Apprentice It's not a matter of luck, it's just a matter of time. Posts: 222	hands Feb 12, 2004 20:10:24 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Eclipse on Feb 12, 2004 20:10:24 GMT -5 You captured the feeling of love in 6 lines. I'd say that's pretty brilliant. nice write.
	You saw what you get If you take what you take. Look in the eyes of the test. It's all because... Now there's a feeling I get. When I look to the left. But we can never be sensed. Our searching for a sign.

amberputis Virtuoso ~Dreams are determined by our hearts, and our dreams design the future~ Posts: 330	hands Feb 13, 2004 12:12:26 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by amberputis on Feb 13, 2004 12:12:26 GMT -5 haha, i have to laugh because this poem makes me happy. I'm not exactly sure why but i really loved this. very nice job
	Amber

Post by pig on Feb 4, 2004 17:51:29 GMT -5

Post by SilverEyes on Feb 4, 2004 18:16:23 GMT -5

Post by bloodredtears on Feb 4, 2004 19:01:21 GMT -5

Post by serenepoetress on Feb 5, 2004 0:49:49 GMT -5

Post by sweetest17sin on Feb 12, 2004 0:54:23 GMT -5

Post by pig on Feb 12, 2004 13:26:51 GMT -5

Post by T.J. Barber on Feb 12, 2004 13:45:55 GMT -5

Post by Eclipse on Feb 12, 2004 20:10:24 GMT -5

Post by amberputis on Feb 13, 2004 12:12:26 GMT -5