Azure Kiss

[Nuv]

An Azure kiss from you
Would steal the Moon Away
in my Mind and in my Soul
You are what I live for
and You are what I would die for
You make me see the world around me
In a whole new view and perspective

as I sit under the dark of the night sky
the fire burining around me
I think about Life and Death
of how short it really is
and what will become of me
and the people I love

I know nothing lasts forever
nor dose it never matter
and I will live for you

Finis.

[angel]

I could of sworn you already posted this somewhere and I replied to it. I think I asked you what "azure" is, and why you put "finis" at the end. Critiquing wise, I think it is pretty good, and doesn't need anything changed.

[_black phoenix_]

You are what I would die for

You need to word this differently or just cut it entirely. its cliche.

nor dose it never matter

Dose should be does. Ever might work better than never.

I'm not the greatest at giving thorough criticism.. Sorry I can't be more helpful.

[T.J. Barber]

I agree with Leash. She's pretty thorough from what I can tell. She's good at this sort of stuff. Anyway, other than that, I thought it was great and in need of no further criticism.....

TJ

[bloodredtears]

sorry this took awhile...
liked the poem alot

i don't mind cliche...cliche works in this piece

but dose...should be does...as far as that goes i'm sure it was just a typo...i liked it...good job