Unapologies

[Persephone]

I am not sorry for my ignorance
But I am sorry that people are cruel
And insensitive
Most of the time.
Cruelty is human,
Savagery a beast.
We feign affection and care
Are we cynics in the least?
Brutality is truth
And apathy our faith.
In urgency we crumble
And surrender our belief.
We bask in the afterglow
Of small, impersonal deeds
And yet inside all our heroes
Are nothing more but starving waifs.
We rhyme and we sing
They celebrate and they laugh
And I wonder: How could this be?
We are diamonds in the rough.
Justice runs away from truth
And turns blindly to the lies.
Widows snail away from sorrow
To embrace pain in disguise.
The world is sorry for all its agonies
It is the fountain of our tears.
We toss to the stars and the moon
All its universal fears.
I am sorry that pain precedes happiness
It is Fate’s way to go.
But in all of my years
I am not sorry for what I know.

[T.J. Barber]

This was definately intriguing. Slitely confusing as well. However, in reading the entire poem it comes together in a specific and interesting way. Thank you for sharing this piece with us. I think that it needs very little criticism at all. Any poem written from the heart such as this deserves no criticism at all. Rather praise and admiration for sharing such a piece. Thanks again, Tj

[SilverEyes]

Like Tj said this is an interesting piece and I think it has an great message. Now, this might just be me but the rhytm sounds a little off and it's distracting. However, it does have moments where it all comes together.

[richie]

hi This to me is performance poetry [have you tried that] olso make every word count,
very good richie.

[Chaotic_Thetis]

I agree in some way with Richie, when reading it i felt it would be more beneficial as perfomance poetry to really emphasise whatever meaning you're trying to convey. As written poetry it seems more like it should be spoken, although i've found that a lot of free verse does have that tendancy to do so. Anyway, it is generally a rather inspiring write.

[T.J. Barber]

I guess I didn't recognize that but, your both right. Performance poetry would fit this one quite nicely. It's supposed to send a message and it's affect isn't fully felt through reading the words. However, as I said I liked it and appreciate you for sharing it.

[JosephScottMorris]

I like your poem as a suggestion only; to enhance the reading maybe something like this-?
Example:
.........

I am not sorry for my ignorance,
But I am sorry that people are cruel.
And insensitive,
Most of the time.

Cruelty is human,
Savagery a beast.
We feign affection and care
Are we cynics in the least?

Brutality is truth,
And apathy our faith.
In urgency we crumble,
And surrender our belief.

We bask in the afterglow,
Of small, impersonal deeds.
And yet inside all our heroes,
Are nothing more but starving waifs.

We rhyme and we sing,
They celebrate and they laugh.
And I wonder: How could this be?
We are diamonds in the rough.

Justice runs away from truth,
And turns blindly to the lies.
Widows snail away from sorrow,
To embrace pain in disguise.

The world is sorry for all its agonies,
It is the fountain of our tears.
We toss to the stars and the moon,
All its universal fears.

I am sorry that pain precedes happiness,
It is Fate’s way to go.
But in all of my years,
I am not sorry for what I know.

I enjoyed reading this,Thanks for sharing it! ;DJoe

[Persephone]

Thank you for the suggestions, they are duly noted.
~P.

[JosephScottMorris]

You are most welcome, ;DJoe

[John Barnett]

I really liked this poem a lot, the meaning and the message for sure. The poem itself is very good, and it does seem performance style a bit, I can't find anything wrong with it myself, but I'm not the best critic either.

[T.J. Barber]

I totally agree with all. Great suggestions guys. That's the right way to give criticism.

[Brady Kyler]

This is a really good poem, I really wish this particular board would pick up some, I'd love to be a part of it if it did.