Interior Path

[Sathien]

Engulfed in ashes – black and white
Shadows of nothing scorching my sight
Naked under the wan moon’s gaze
Slender cold fingers trailing blaze

Rustling debris beneath bare feet
Whispering past of six-feet deep
What once stood lofty, once stood tall
Can not now answer heaven’s call

Then wafts the sky – a stinging scent
Of death and flesh, what blood has lent
A taste of bitter, pungent truth
No entity can ever soothe

Fingers tremble, eyes deceived
Crimson stream darts concealed
A hollow vision seals the mind
God and Beast – one can’t unbind

[leash]

excellent write, sath. i enjoyed it much. vivid imagery and creative words. your diction worked perfectly with your subject matter.

[Deleted]

Descriptive. Sort of a haunting feel to it. Great work.

[bloodredtears]

some really great imagery...this is a great piece i really loved these lines

Then wafts the sky – a stinging scent
Of death and flesh, what blood has lent

[SilverEyes]

Wow, this has some great imagery and wonderful descriptions. Great write.

[Sathien]

thanks! that meant a lot as this was my first try at a poem that actually rhymes. ;D

[Eclipse]

Well i'd say you're very good with rhyme. It seems to come naturally to you. the rhymes aren't forced and your imagery is quite chilling. My kinda poem. ^.^ you are truly talented.