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Post by leash on Jan 20, 2004 1:26:42 GMT -5
spreading,
pooling,
bleeding metal scraping in my head.
>>back and forth<<
>>back and forth<<
>scraping back and forth<
pins and needles stabbing in my eyes,
thrust deeply within the sockets.
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Post by SilverEyes on Jan 20, 2004 23:51:00 GMT -5
I love the use of sound in this. It really makes the message come through.
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Wolf
Apprentice
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Posts: 124
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Post by Wolf on Mar 1, 2004 17:01:37 GMT -5
Whew, Black Pheonix; you've described what a migraine feels like very explicitely! Fortunately, I don't get them but once every three or four years, but still...
On another level though, there's the sense of unresolved emotional, mental, and spiritual pain that overwhelms all else - this applies just as much to that as well...
Good job; Black Pheonix; very well expressed.
Wolf
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Post by SilverEyes on Mar 1, 2004 17:19:23 GMT -5
Interesting write and nice title. I can definitely appreciate the feeling behind this.
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Post by bloodredtears on Mar 1, 2004 23:29:22 GMT -5
wonderful piece...description is wonderful...i've never had a headache that bad...but dang...that's what my back sure feels like right now...great job!
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Post by leash on Mar 21, 2004 17:15:54 GMT -5
thanks for all the feedback, especially ghostwolf.  im happy that the emotion in this piece was able to hit everyone so well. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2004 15:33:06 GMT -5
Eee. Sort of has a... morbid feeling to it. Or maybe I'm just reading too much in it. =P Anyway, nice write. I loved it. Short, yes, but it adds to the overall feeling. So, great job.
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Post by leash on Mar 23, 2004 16:45:14 GMT -5
thank you. and yes, it was supposed to sound a little morbid.. |
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im happy that the emotion in this piece was able to hit everyone so well.