Mum

[rinna(on leave...for eternity)]

I’m sure you loved me, mum
Those nights I spent alone
My bedroom
The piercing silence
The soundtrack for the moonbeams
To dance on the pillars
Of my fears
Endless nights spent
Waiting for the darkness to lift
Morning to filter through my window
So I could finally close my eyes
Tell me once more
That I’ll learn to love the dark
And I’ll gouge your eyes out
I only loved the dark
Because it kept you away
Laughing as a family
Without me
How it should have always been
While I hid under my fortress
Of highschool clutter
Fragments of an illusion
That told the world that
I was so happy
My face could crack
I didn’t hide from you
I hid from the terror you instilled in me
That you let manifest
Into something I couldn’t control
If I revolted
And switched on that light
WATCH OUT!
You could have killed me
But you never could
Because you would be a
“bad mother”
and you don’t know what that’s like
because you loved me so much
you couldn’t bear to let me live
the way this country let their children live
vagrants and whores
too young to know better

so mum, here’s to you
I’m sure you loved me
Just never enough
To matter.

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n.b. this is for my adoptive mother. if it weren't for you, i wouldn't be the person i am today. cheers.

[Seth]

Hm, I do feel as if I can understand this and I totally feel the emotion in this piece. An incredible write, that I very much enjoyed reading.

[rinna(on leave...for eternity)]

seth,
thank you honey.
x rinna x