Mother, dear mother

[Alex'z Death Chic]

How could you grow so cold
after all these years?

the one who gave birth to me
held me when i was small

now looks at me with disgust
void of love in your eyes

now I ask again,
why do you hate me so?

I've tried so hard to please you
yet one mistake makes your love for me disappear

I hope someday when your heart has melted
you'll find your love for me again

my mother, dear mother....


*marga laugh* oh yesh, i rewrote it!!! oh yeah!!!!

[Eclipse]

it's good but i did find the "mother, dear mother" all too repetitive and skipped those lines all together at the end.

[bloodredtears]

i agree it was a little too repetitive, but it's a good subject.... with a teensy bit of work it could be awesome

[X x K e l Z x X]

This was nice, great piece here, and I too would cut out some of the repetition.

[Alex'z Death Chic]

haha... i read it again... it was annoying. ill rewrite it when I feel like it i guess. thanks guys for being honest.

[SilverEyes]

Alex'z said:

now looks at me with disgust
void of love in your eyes

I love that stanza. It description the relationship quite well.

[rinna(on leave...for eternity)]

now THIS is a pinoy mother at its most private! and this is exactly how I felt for 4 years before I ran away. beautiful, and i'm glad i read the amended version because i wanted to read this and like it as soon as i saw the title...

[Alex'z Death Chic]

thanks everyone.

rinna, you're right about saying that this is about a pinoy mother at its private... All about appearances... "Nothing's wrong"

[bloodredtears]

i really love this piece...you rewrote it right? haha..i suppose that's why you said yes, i rewrote it...anyway this one is much better, not that it was bad before..but now i really love it!