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Post by serenepoetress on Feb 3, 2004 14:21:17 GMT -5
Heated breath inflames pores upon moist skin. Fingertips explore, lips impart a willing grin. Tongues incite raw passion tasting eager flesh. Intermingled bodies, how effortless they mesh. Sultry words whispered tame the unseen beast. Hungering eyes engulf one's soul as if to feast. Smoldering primal instincts succumb to fiery eyes. Exquisite new sensations summon breathless sighs. Deep held inhibitions shunned in lieu of charms. Bare, they lie together, both naive in novice arms.
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Post by John Barnett on Feb 3, 2004 15:46:44 GMT -5
Wow, I loved this. This was very nice, I really enjoyed it. This piece gave off some great imagery and sensual energy. Very well done. No critique necessary.
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Post by leash on Feb 3, 2004 16:44:27 GMT -5
great work, serenepoetress.. im happy that this board is getting used properly.
i found these two specific lines to be the most effective..
enjoyed it much. thank you for sharing.
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Post by serenepoetress on Feb 3, 2004 16:52:21 GMT -5
Thanks _blackphoenix_. I am so glad you liked it. Too often forums reserved for sensuous erotic expressions are overran with soft and hard core porn. I hope this forum continues to be used as intended...I'm going to do my best to prevent porn from being posted here. thanks again...serenepoetress
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Post by SilverEyes on Feb 3, 2004 19:35:42 GMT -5
A beautiful piece and still modest. I love it.
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amberputis
Virtuoso
~Dreams are determined by our hearts, and our dreams design the future~
Posts: 330
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Post by amberputis on Feb 14, 2004 20:57:10 GMT -5
This was very well written, i loved it.
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Post by richie on Feb 16, 2004 15:10:42 GMT -5
Now this is good writing in any sense, this poem is deep in Imagery and structure, profound in many ways, wonderful meter articulate and contemporary very well done. regards richie.
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imaginary goddess #5
Novice
shape me into something I never will be, and you'll find out this facade was an escape from reality.
Posts: 69
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Post by imaginary goddess #5 on Feb 18, 2004 23:06:16 GMT -5
as many have said, this has sensual energy, yet modesty and imagery to remember. loved it - Lianna
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sweetest17sin
Virtuoso
don't frown! you never know who's falling in love with your smile!
Posts: 252
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Post by sweetest17sin on Feb 21, 2004 1:26:53 GMT -5
i dont think this poem needs critiqueing. it was awesome. very well written.
melissa!
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Seth
Virtuoso
Root Beer Float
Play something country!
Posts: 411
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Post by Seth on Feb 21, 2004 21:14:20 GMT -5
Simply lovely.
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Post by JosephScottMorris on Feb 23, 2004 7:36:52 GMT -5
I like your poem as a suggestion only;maybe something like this-? Example: .......
Heated breath inflames pores, upon moist skin. Fingertips explore, lips impart a willing grin. Tongues incite raw passion, tasting eager flesh. Intermingled bodies, how effortless they mesh. Sultry words whispered, tame the unseen beast. Hungering eyes engulf, one's soul as if to feast. Smoldering primal instincts, succumb to fiery eyes. Exquisite new sensations, summon breathless sighs. Deep held inhibitions, shunned in lieu of charms. Bare they lie together, both naive in novice arms.
This is indeed a Great poem! ;DJoe
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Post by Sathien on Feb 29, 2004 12:12:36 GMT -5
rhythm was amazing. diction also. powerful poetry here. brilliant write. kudos!
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