Catch a fallen word

[somaybeitsme]

the oragenal on that i think the same way

[bloodredtears]

wow...that's definitely something to think about...i know what you mean...i understand where you come from and I sure wish i had the courage to write something like that!
this is a very good piece..there were a few grammatical things that I wrote down so i could help you to make it more correct...i'm not very good with typing correctly which is why i make it a point to point spelling out when reading a piece of prose OK:

6th line--- past should be passed
12th line---worst should be worse
13th line---symphony should be sympathy
14th line---them self should be themselves
18th line--- on should be one
22nd line--- stroke should be struck

3rd from end---remove the I at end of line
2nd from end---maters should be matters

I know those are minor details, but that just shows that the piece is good enough to be picky about! great job!

[somaybeitsme]

bloodredtears said:

wow...that's definitely something to think about...i know what you mean...i understand where you come from and I sure wish i had the courage to write something like that!
this is a very good piece..there were a few grammatical things that I wrote down so i could help you to make it more correct...i'm not very good with typing correctly which is why i make it a point to point spelling out when reading a piece of prose OK:

6th line--- past should be passed
12th line---worst should be worse
13th line---symphony should be sympathy
14th line---them self should be themselves
18th line--- on should be one
22nd line--- stroke should be struck

3rd from end---remove the I at end of line
2nd from end---maters should be matters

I know those are minor details, but that just shows that the piece is good enough to be picky about! great job!

thank you very much for finding those mistakes for me,
i'm not good at catch my own mistakes. grammar was never my strong subject.. ;o)

[bloodredtears]

i don't like grammar, and i usually can't catch my own mistakes..but i was yearbook editor at my high school for a year..so it's not problem...

[SilverEyes]

I was so much into the message that I didn't even notice the mistakes and it helps that it's two AM. Anyway, I couldn't agree with you more.

[amberputis]

wow........................................amazing write. I was blown away and also could hardly even notice the grammical errors. I just felt so conneted to this piece and know exactly what you mean when you say your words are only understandable to yourself. Awesome job...

[T.J. Barber]

A great poet doesn't care whether it's spelled right. Just as long as the message is given. A qoute from an editor who worked with William Faulkner. I didn't notice them myself either. However, we do have our mods to keep things going for us. Great job..

[bloodredtears]

i know that grammar is the main focus, but if you ever want to get anything published people are going to look for that kind of things, which is why i try and do that...the more i practice picking out things in other pieces the better i get at catching my own!

[richie]

I must agree with bloodredtears regarding the grammar,
though the poem is good the flow and Imagery great a fine performance poem with a little revising.
richie.

[Chaotic_Thetis]

I too loved this, the message, the structure, the whole lot. Wonderfully written, grammatical errors and all ^_^