NeverMore
Virtuoso
Beethoven Looking f*g
Posts: 454
|
Post by NeverMore on May 16, 2004 14:15:21 GMT -5
More today than yesterday
more tomorrow than today
This love it grows
with each breath I take
these arms they ache
to hold you so close
when your right beside me
when your far away
|
|
|
|
Post by bloodredtears on May 16, 2004 17:13:38 GMT -5
this is my favorite of your short pieces.... i loved the entire piece..but these four lines were some of the most beautiful i've heard in a long time...great job!
|
|
NeverMore
Virtuoso
Beethoven Looking f*g
Posts: 454
|
Post by NeverMore on Jul 10, 2004 11:34:26 GMT -5
Thank you  |
|
|
|
Post by _black phoenix_ on Jul 19, 2004 2:09:49 GMT -5
when your right beside me when your far away
"Your" should be "you're" |
|
NeverMore
Virtuoso
Beethoven Looking f*g
Posts: 454
|
Post by NeverMore on Jul 19, 2004 6:08:31 GMT -5
Sorry, but I had to laugh at the you're comment, one person I know is always on me for that. I will say I had to read the poem again myself to see about the rhyme. There is seldom ever a rhyming intent to my works, this one is not an exception. Or at least it was not intended to rhyme at all and I do not see it. But as I say in all cases, a poem is changed by the way an individual reads it. I am glad you took the time to say what you thought and I hope you do so very very often and with everyone, there are a lot of damned good poets here. Thank you indeed |
|
|
|
Post by _black phoenix_ on Jul 19, 2004 13:12:33 GMT -5
No problem.
I actually said "rhythm" not "rhyming" 
|
|
