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Post by alostandbrokensoul on May 19, 2004 16:37:20 GMT -5
You are my sugar
you are my sweet
you are my life
all nice and neat
now my life falls apart
and so does my heart
your no longer my sweet
your no longer my life
because I learned
you have a wife.
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NeverMore
Virtuoso
Beethoven Looking f*g
Posts: 454
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Post by NeverMore on May 19, 2004 20:43:32 GMT -5
very strong message you add to your work. I liked how you said so planely something that was so strong and personal... I hope we see a great deal more from you  |
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Post by bloodredtears on May 19, 2004 23:33:30 GMT -5
this is an awesome piece...your rhymes seem so effortless...great job, simply put and heartwrenching in it's simplicity...great job!
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imaginary goddess #5
Novice
shape me into something I never will be, and you'll find out this facade was an escape from reality.
Posts: 69
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Post by imaginary goddess #5 on Jun 10, 2004 19:02:55 GMT -5
simple and sweet. i liked how the rhyming worked in this one. helped bring a rhytmn and flow to this.
-- lia --
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