~Lightening~

[serenepoetress]

*1st draft--suggestions welcome*


Incandescent shards escape an unseen source.
Dramatic flashes discharge in chaos.
Untamed illumination assails midnight skies.
Breathtaking upsurges sever the dismal canopy.
Rogue bolts mimic the oak's ancient branches.
Brilliant erruptions explode with no purpose or pattern.
Unique unto itself, charges fracture without forethought.
Briefly peircing the darkness, heaven is renewed.

[SilverEyes]

Great imagery, serenepostess.

[leash]

wow.. what intense imagery.. this piece was breath-taking. incredible work. i honestly dont think that you need to make any revisions, it sounds perfect just the way it is.

i did find that the second to last line was a little akward the first time reading your poem through, but i read it again and it seemed to work fine. hm...

[bloodredtears]

really good piece...great way of describing the horrific beauty of lightning...great job!