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Post by leash on Dec 4, 2003 18:57:38 GMT -5
sparkling pin pricks
complicate the blackened sky
in a serene show of beauty
devouring the darkness and shadows
just beyond reach.
_________________
thank you for reading.
-leash
_black phoenix_
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Post by bloodredtears on Dec 11, 2003 12:34:32 GMT -5
very intersting piece..i enjoyed reading it..good job
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Post by leash on Dec 12, 2003 0:05:54 GMT -5
thanks, bloodred.
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Avatre
Novice
Just around for the words...^.^
Posts: 33
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Post by Avatre on Jan 8, 2004 16:28:07 GMT -5
I like it, except the word "devour"...it just seems like it's all beautiful, then the stars are "devouring?" the blackness? Or maybe it's supposed to be like that...*shrug* nice anyhow
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Post by leash on Jan 8, 2004 16:50:42 GMT -5
hmm.. i see what you mean. maybe smothering would work better?
.. ill think up some more ideas.
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Todd
Novice
What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about? D'OH!
Posts: 45
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Post by Todd on Jan 13, 2004 21:24:49 GMT -5
Good little ditty here.I like this line"complicate the blackened sky" Interesting!
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Post by SilverEyes on Jan 18, 2004 1:28:12 GMT -5
"in a serene show of beauty"
wonderful line
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Post by richie on Feb 4, 2004 14:31:03 GMT -5
I think this is just excellent, one of the best of the poems I have seen from you.
regards richie.
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Post by leash on Feb 5, 2004 1:01:48 GMT -5
thank you! this is one of my favourite pieces as well.. im happy that you like it.   |
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Post by John Barnett on Feb 5, 2004 15:09:08 GMT -5
Well done.
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amberputis
Virtuoso
~Dreams are determined by our hearts, and our dreams design the future~
Posts: 330
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Post by amberputis on Feb 14, 2004 21:01:41 GMT -5
:)good
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