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Post by John Barnett on Feb 5, 2004 15:04:17 GMT -5
Many fools may try
But they eventually die
In battle with the one
Who rises with the sun
The phoenix of the flames
The dynasty that reigns
The bird is an immortal power
Soaring higher than any tower
Rising from ashes when ill
Being the only one real
When the war is over and done
The Phoenix will rise with the sun |
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Post by richie on Feb 5, 2004 15:34:08 GMT -5
profoundly laid out, amazing meter and form.
good rhyme incorporated throughout.
well done richie.
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Post by John Barnett on Feb 5, 2004 16:21:40 GMT -5
Thank you Richard, I appreciate that.
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Chaotic_Thetis
Apprentice
Bleed me! For i have witnessed yet remained silent.Slay me! For i had your love and kept it.
Posts: 142
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Post by Chaotic_Thetis on Feb 6, 2004 15:15:42 GMT -5
He's said it all really hasn't it, anything i'd have to say would be a mere echoe, therefore, nicely written ^_^
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Post by SilverEyes on Feb 6, 2004 22:38:07 GMT -5
I love the flow of this and great imagery. Wonderful piece.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2004 16:21:01 GMT -5
Mm... Loved the imagery and flow and rhyming. The choice of words was neat, too. I love pheonixes. XD Keep it up~!
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amberputis
Virtuoso
~Dreams are determined by our hearts, and our dreams design the future~
Posts: 330
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Post by amberputis on Feb 16, 2004 14:17:03 GMT -5
good piece
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