Tears on the sand

Tania
Novice

Posts: 49

Tears on the sand May 16, 2004 4:32:21 GMT -5

Quote

Post by Tania on May 16, 2004 4:32:21 GMT -5

Tears on the sand
Pain and blood
Mingle like pebbles
My heart in your hand
And the rough edge of life
Is softer in your dreams
'Cause you're not hurting
It is me
Tears on the sand
Diamonds for a heart
Never love a man
Emotions rip one apart
And my self-confidence is down
My heart asleep
I fall for you, a clown
From the abyss I creep
Tania

Chaotic_Thetis Apprentice Bleed me! For i have witnessed yet remained silent.Slay me! For i had your love and kept it. Posts: 142	Tears on the sand May 16, 2004 9:35:28 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Chaotic_Thetis on May 16, 2004 9:35:28 GMT -5 The last two lines were great, set a very twisted image in a way, especially with reference to the clown. The rest seemed to drag on till the end, but perhaps that is what happens in cases.
	A woman who choses the writing profession often does so as to give herself a rank within a male-dominated society

bloodredtears
Legend

I don't entirely think I've had enough rum to allow that kind of talk.

Posts: 1,164

Tears on the sand May 16, 2004 16:53:05 GMT -5

Quote

Post by bloodredtears on May 16, 2004 16:53:05 GMT -5

i really liked this piece...you capture the pain very well...

Tears on the sand
Diamonds for a heart
Never love a man
Emotions rip one apart

i loved this especially the last two lines of it..."emotions rip one apart" too true too true...great job!

** Poetry copyright of Bloodredtears

**Summer has flown its nest, as the days swiftly turn to fall and we start to roost in the bosom of winter.

Eclipse Apprentice It's not a matter of luck, it's just a matter of time. Posts: 222	Tears on the sand May 16, 2004 17:55:42 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Eclipse on May 16, 2004 17:55:42 GMT -5 man. this one just tugged at my heart. lovely write. i also liked how you described pain.
	You saw what you get If you take what you take. Look in the eyes of the test. It's all because... Now there's a feeling I get. When I look to the left. But we can never be sensed. Our searching for a sign.

Post by Tania on May 16, 2004 4:32:21 GMT -5

Post by Chaotic_Thetis on May 16, 2004 9:35:28 GMT -5

Post by bloodredtears on May 16, 2004 16:53:05 GMT -5

Post by Eclipse on May 16, 2004 17:55:42 GMT -5