~The Rain That Follows~

[DarkVortex]

Posing thee question under the suken, grey sky.
Who do most souls follow when they wither and die?
Tis it was only mid December when Michael came.
His tranquil words, "till after death you shall follow thy name."

For upon that moment thy eyes, thy ears were lost in murk.
Delt for only a hand to a near blessed nor nefarious clerk.
Till the fog of tears imbed into the shrewd willow tree.
Come forth unto midnight even Selene shall gaze upon thee.

As trade winds from afar choke the light below my feet.
Destiny's wicked eye's and mine glide as we meet.
The rythmical fantasy of existance holds tunes unto me.
With vast waves of history as far as the soul can see.

For it was time to wake to the outlanish dust of all.
Escaping consequence as we fall to our last immoral call.
Shall us few be known by where we stood or hide?
Be gone with us tis our souls sold for the highest bid.

Awaited time has come for our due as we alast fly away.
Calling to Michael on the last hour of thy last day.
Repent nothing for we shall come on the eve of all hallows.
As our souls strike the earth with the rain that follows.

[NeverMore]

I sure hope you take this right, because your works are awsome and inspiring. I only have one suggestion though. I do not know if it is only me with this work, but it "feels" like you are trying to maych the wizardry of the poet matsers of old with your wording. Like I said, your works are great, but somehow I think if you just be yourself this would flow even better. But I am no expert, I am just a poet. *S* Keep writing!! I want to see more.

[T.J. Barber]

I agree Joe. However, I tend to slip a little of the old in with the new at times. Sometimes I believe that it can make a great poem. It can also break one as well. However, I think that this poem was worded greatly and I believe that the wording he chose, whether old or new, it made this poem great. I agree with you on one idea however. I would like to see this poem written in his own words. In the words of his heart. However, this may have been the true words of his heart. Either way, I think it was great and I believe that you, Vortex. Can and will be a great writer...keep it up !!

[NeverMore]

I was not in any way trying to say it is not a good poem. It is great. I just ha a da je vue feeling reading it because it was so much lkie a clasic work, I am tempted to say by Dade Cooper, but I am not certain. If I ever compare someone's works to a classic, it is never ever in any way, anything but a compliment. Vortex is an AWSOME poet. I read the two posted today even and am just itching for more. The ability to rhyme along with classic style is something I envy most times.