Those were THE DAYS

[angel]

ok this one is kinda weird...I was having a very weird day because I was at work and very bored. Also..."seeked" ...what is another word I can use for that?



Sitting at the bottom-
Of a dark, cold, wet-
Hole-
Curled up in a ball
When a ray of hope arises-
And your hands reach the light-
Just on the edge of the dungeon-
Someone stomps on your fingers-
You fall back down
Feeling it will never end-
And you will never seek happiness again-
You start to lose hope-
All light begins to fade
Those were the days-
The days I saw no light-
The days I seeked no happiness
But some how-
I never gave up
And that gave me the courage-
The strength-
To stand up-
And fight-
For freedom

[Seth]

"seeked" ...what is another word I can use for that?
Try "sought", it means the same thing.
`~~~~~~~~~~`

Interesting piece, it provided some very cool ideas and thoughts. I loved this piece, because of it's origniality and the inspirational thoughts it left me with.

[angel]

aaaaaah thank you so much for reading this. I thought it was going to get buried with no replies!

Ya...I don't like sought either...and seeked isn't even a word. Is "sought" the only word that I can use in there? ...I guess it would work, but not what I am looking for arg

[Seth]

How about "found" or "gained" or "saw" or "felt"
Just a few suggestions... Well, I hope you find a word that you like...

[_black phoenix_]

It's too choppy. The rhythm of this piece just didn't appeal to me. I think that if you spaced the lines differently it would sound a lot better, but thats just me.

And that gave me the courage-
The strength-
To stand up-
And fight-
For freedom

Strong ending.