NeverMore
Virtuoso
Beethoven Looking f*g
Posts: 454
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Post by NeverMore on May 30, 2004 20:21:35 GMT -5
have you ever been lost on a river going no where dreamed a dream of impossible meanings
do you turn around to see no past then look ahead see no future
no smiles to love no hearts to cheer nothing left behind no where left to go
life is like that sometimes sooner or later remember tomorrow will bring a new day
lost in the gap of time with dreams that can never come true for lost loves that won't return the past has ended all dreams
where to go from here without any dreams to lean on when love no longer comes our way what is the next thing to do
now we no longer hae smiles no one to smile for to be true is all we ask true to someone to the end
tomorrow shows no change for us today is already gone no one to give a smile no one to lend a hand
love conquers all that is what is said so where are the new days that bring us love
our lives won't last forever our dreams have all been slain
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Post by angel on Jun 1, 2004 13:54:18 GMT -5
This is by far one of my favorites from you. You have a very strong beginning and love your beginning. But it seems to frizzle a little toward the end....still strong points but could maybe be worded better? By all means, dont change it if you like it the way it is..it is still a very welly written poem.
I also found a spelling error, no biggy, 7th stanza, first line, "have" was spelt "hae"
I love the different perspectives you give out in this. Especially the "Love conquers all"...but what do you do when you have no love in your life, or there is no love around you? ...I hope thats what you meant, thats what I took from it. N e who, i'm blabbing now. I likez
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