milky moon

[rinna(on leave...for eternity)]

I looked to the moon tonight and I asked
"Why doesn't anything go right for me?"
She smiled at me and shook her head
Obviously I am beyond reason
Grasping at straws that have disappeared
Long before I ever got here
I feel jaded
To spend an eternity asking
Shaking my head at the young'uns
With their disrespect
I was you
Now I am tainted and shamed
Mind your step
I'm trying to be angry
So much worse to be numb
I rue the day I met you, moon

[angel]

Great opener. Very creative. Seemed like it frizzled toward the end, but over all this isn't that bad of a piece. Nice perspective

[rinna(on leave...for eternity)]

angel,
thanks for reading...now...
i actually think i wrote the beginning in a "brain fart" moment. i don't like it at all. the point of the whole thing is I don't know where i belong in the grand scheme of life. i think the ending is fantastic, but that's me...i am happy you enjoyed it, i think we'll have to agree to disagree with which parts of this we like. ;D but pls keep reading, you make me think...
x rinna x

[angel]

Oh good, its hard for me to list negative things about poems...because I know how much it can hurt. The last thing I would want to do is hurt anyone. So I am glad you actually do like me responding