Eyes

[NeverMore]

I close my eyes
see her face
all around me
I smell her here

still in this light
I sense the mist
something walking there
that can not be reached

fears that encompase life
dreams that ensure it
holding so tight
not wishing to crush

why does the day
still bring clouds
when this sunlight shines
so strong in my heart

[angel]

I have a poem titled "Eyes" also.

This is a good piece, but I dont feel anything. It needs some seasoning. More for the "longing for love" like you suggested. I dont know, it seems like it needs something, but I dont know how I could help you on that. Maybe you dont need to change anything. I guess this one just doesn't hit me

[NeverMore]

strange as it may seem, feeling nothing is about right for this poem. I was very empty and cold inside when I wrote it. I like the idea that someone will say what they see with a poem though. Even if a comment is not complimentary, I enjoy it, because I can only learn from what is said. I thank you more then you know for your opinions *S*