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Post by Mikepoet on Mar 22, 2004 19:54:13 GMT -5
Watching romance movies,
an emotional abyss.
In moments akin to singleness.
Wistful memories of her and I.
Chance gift of love
Wish love did not lie.
Sometimes I slip
And fantasize.
When lunar eclipse,
Blocks light from my eyes.
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Post by Alex'z Death Chic on Mar 23, 2004 1:53:06 GMT -5
hmm... the ending's sort of abrupt but at the same time, its sort of fitting. sorry if u didnt understand... its just that I feel like there can be more to this poem... oh well, its just me.. love the title btw.
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Post by Mikepoet on Mar 23, 2004 3:05:19 GMT -5
Nahh your right..I did end it too quick..That is just how it went though..Sometimes poems just die...
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Post by bloodredtears on Mar 23, 2004 17:47:08 GMT -5
i actually think that the ending is good...sometimes things in life end abruptly, and so that poetry that goes with them may end that way too....i liked this one alot...especially the first stanza...i know about singleness too much...  great job! |
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Post by Mikepoet on Mar 24, 2004 2:00:48 GMT -5
T^hanks I feel this lonlines most when I am with a freind and their other half and we watch a romance movie..Or even worse by myself when I watch a romance movie..It's miserable seeing what some writer portrays as love and me by myself watching it by myself, remembering what love once was but is no longer...I wrote this at same time as Empty loves tokens..I do not know if I have posted that here yet...
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Post by SilverEyes on Apr 4, 2004 2:34:39 GMT -5
I especially like the second stanza. It has good flow and good diction. Unfortunately, I can really relate. At least we're not alone in our depression.  |
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Post by Mikepoet on Apr 4, 2004 12:21:54 GMT -5
Yeah, is so. I think many poets and poetry readers are lonely even in a crowd of people they have known for years.
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