|
|
Post by Sathien on Jan 24, 2004 14:36:21 GMT -5
You touch me
Skin burned
Sparks of blood
Coal turns white
Whips of smoke
Ashes flow
Cold within
You let go
Your eyes meet mine
Mirror of mirrors
Blinding waves
A crack on stone
Whirlpool of glitters
Pulling me
I succumb
But you look beyond
Your scent
Wafts through me
The smell of dewdrops
And fresh flowers
Of virgin snow
Of salty seas
Tears of deception
Her scent
Your voice
A whispered tune
Echoes deep
Within a veiled well
Rustling of crisp leaves
Mirage of Fall
Obscured lies
Nostalgic hum
A taste of your lips
Rich divine flavor
Leaves blazing trails
Of Red Wine
Fermented over centuries
Bittersweet
Your lips on hers
I taste mint – on deep wound
|
|
|
|
Post by SilverEyes on Jan 24, 2004 19:09:29 GMT -5
Wow, wonderful imagery.
|
|
|
|
Post by bloodredtears on Jan 25, 2004 13:52:46 GMT -5
i agree...this has beautiful imagery...great job...
|
|
|
|
Post by Sathien on Jan 26, 2004 2:04:59 GMT -5
thanks a lot.  |
|
|
|
Post by Tania on Jan 26, 2004 6:15:58 GMT -5
This poem is simply divine. I feel like I am there in the room feeling these emotions
"I taste mint - on deep wound."
This is a killer line. Exquisite poetry.
Tania
|
|
Eclipse
Apprentice
It's not a matter of luck, it's just a matter of time.
Posts: 222
|
Post by Eclipse on Jan 29, 2004 14:04:11 GMT -5
this is marvelous! it's description at it's best. =) truely enjoyed.
|
|
|
|
Post by T.J. Barber on Feb 3, 2004 11:28:54 GMT -5
I agree. Your descriptiveness is marvelous. Your a great artist. Good job,
|
|
|
|
Post by Sathien on Feb 5, 2004 10:02:06 GMT -5
thank you.
|
|
Chaotic_Thetis
Apprentice
Bleed me! For i have witnessed yet remained silent.Slay me! For i had your love and kept it.
Posts: 142
|
Post by Chaotic_Thetis on Feb 9, 2004 14:14:30 GMT -5
Indeed, how can i say more other than that i enjoyed the short and concise lines that express so much. Wonderfully written ^_^
|
|
sweetest17sin
Virtuoso
don't frown! you never know who's falling in love with your smile!
Posts: 252
|
Post by sweetest17sin on Feb 15, 2004 20:25:14 GMT -5
i agree w/ silvereyes...really nice job! i really like the title...i can never think of fun ones like that!
|
|
amberputis
Virtuoso
~Dreams are determined by our hearts, and our dreams design the future~
Posts: 330
|
Post by amberputis on Feb 16, 2004 13:59:58 GMT -5
nice use of vocabulary  |
|
imaginary goddess #5
Novice
shape me into something I never will be, and you'll find out this facade was an escape from reality.
Posts: 69
|
Post by imaginary goddess #5 on Feb 17, 2004 17:44:08 GMT -5
Wonderful. I too loved the title of this poem. I enjoyed your descriptions, giving us a "snapshot" of each moment. The shortness of the lines only added more emotion - wonderful. The last line was exquisite.
"I taste mint - on a deep wound" - lets us see the pain more bluntly.
- Lianna
|
|
|
|
Post by JosephScottMorris on Feb 23, 2004 2:09:25 GMT -5
Excellent poem,Thanks for sharing it! ;DJoe
|
|
