I Hope You Read This, Whoever You May Be

[soliaceleste]

I Hope You Read This, Whoever You May Be

Being ignored, cast aside
It makes me scream
The questions, the doubt
It makes me scream
The emotions, rollercoaster ride
It makes me scream
The indifference, being left out
It makes me scream
You act different, oh so cool
It makes me scream
I give, you take, you never give back
It makes me scream
You demean me, as if I were the fool
It makes me scream
I care for you, but care you lack
It makes me scream
You take my secrets and tattletale
It makes me scream
You take pride in supposed individuality
It makes me scream
I need help, you conveniently bail
It makes me scream
You’re wrapped up in your world of centrality
It makes me scream
You think you’re so much better than all the rest
It makes me scream
When others aren’t around I’m only your crutch
It makes me scream
You want all to feel sorrow for your pity fest
It makes me scream
I now know that I hate you so much
And it makes me scream

[bloodredtears]

this is a very good poem...but after about the 6th time reading it makes me scream, i started omitting the line altogether...normally i like a lot of repetition, but in this case i think it detracts a little from the point you're getting across in the other lines...of course, it's still really good this way and i know why you repeat it... good job!

[SilverEyes]

While It makes me scream does have this chant-like quality, it became redundant near the end. Nice write, though. I like what you said on all the other lines.

[amberputis]

I did the same thing, just started skipping over the main line.."it makes me scream", but i am not the one to judge negatively about ones writings, because I believe a poem or writing that one writes from the heart shouldn't be judged. However, I could tell that this was directed towards someone or something, and it holds a lot of strong meaning. I did enjoy it. I could relate. good job!

[leash]

great vent, soliacelest. very powerful words. there were a lot of good ideas running through this. i think you could make a really good poem from pieces of this one.. if you were to change the format to free verse and pick out your favourite lines and piece them together you could create a wicked poem.

[Celestial]

oh very very nice. A lot of what you just wrote hits me personally. Always feeling like no one ever appreciates what I do for them when all I do is give and never recieve. Very well put

[Seth]

Very powerful... I know I've felt this way about certain people before... Awesome write.

[rinna(on leave...for eternity)]

this was excellent, despite the repetition. i understand that repeating it gets the point across but i too started leaving it out towards the end. it's up to you, i understand if it's significant for you to keep it in...
x rinna x