amberputis
Virtuoso
~Dreams are determined by our hearts, and our dreams design the future~
Posts: 330
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Post by amberputis on Feb 16, 2004 11:01:53 GMT -5
Liking something to fit in with the scene,
We all look like tortured fake figurines.
Plastic on the outside, painted colors with names,
posing and staring, wishing for fame.
Fame for what, to be accepted by who?
To be one in the crowd, to look like you.
You over there, you, and the next.
We all look alike, even opposite sex.
We all have 2 eyes in which we can see,
but yet to make notice what's not on t.v.
We're all brainwashed through society's essence.
All fighting for eachother's acceptance.
Who is so important that we need to impress?
Can we be our own? A question never answered yes.
* This really isn't expressing anger, more of disappointment of what our world has come to these days. *
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Post by bloodredtears on Feb 16, 2004 15:22:25 GMT -5
this poem is so true to societal issues today...great job...you expressed it wonderfully..i loved it!
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Post by SilverEyes on Feb 16, 2004 16:12:23 GMT -5
Beautifully written and too true. Mass production hasn't done much to promote individualism. Heh
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amberputis
Virtuoso
~Dreams are determined by our hearts, and our dreams design the future~
Posts: 330
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Post by amberputis on Feb 17, 2004 21:51:31 GMT -5
thanks for reading! I really enjoy reading replys of any sort, i hope this 1 didn't come off too harsh. ;  |
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Chaotic_Thetis
Apprentice
Bleed me! For i have witnessed yet remained silent.Slay me! For i had your love and kept it.
Posts: 142
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Post by Chaotic_Thetis on Feb 19, 2004 15:51:04 GMT -5
That was an interesting expression, i loved the last line, very hard hitting way of depicting the truth. Nicely written ^_^
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Post by richie on Feb 20, 2004 14:30:24 GMT -5
another good poem from you I do like your style
regards Richie.
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Eclipse
Apprentice
It's not a matter of luck, it's just a matter of time.
Posts: 222
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Post by Eclipse on Feb 20, 2004 15:22:39 GMT -5
nicely done. i like your point. this piece flows beautifully. lovely work.
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Celestial
Novice
Celestial.Photographer.Poet.
Posts: 72
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Post by Celestial on Feb 29, 2004 13:41:38 GMT -5
Very meaningful. I like how you wrote it and ryhmed. Great write and great view into the world.
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Post by ::..::FoX::..:: on Mar 23, 2004 14:07:58 GMT -5
Great message, nice flow
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Seth
Virtuoso
Root Beer Float
Play something country!
Posts: 411
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Post by Seth on Mar 24, 2004 12:59:56 GMT -5
It seemed kind of bitter to me, but that's good... Seriously though, this piece was absolutely cool. I loved every line to this fantastic write of yours. terrific flow, wonderful rhymes and a true and powerful message.
Sheer excellence...
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amberputis
Virtuoso
~Dreams are determined by our hearts, and our dreams design the future~
Posts: 330
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Post by amberputis on Mar 24, 2004 19:26:33 GMT -5
well thanks all! I greatly appreciate any comments!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2004 16:55:50 GMT -5
Exactly the way you expressed it. This poem's so true that it's almost unbelieveable. I loved it immensely.
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Post by leash on Mar 29, 2004 16:05:34 GMT -5
i agree with everyone else.. this piece has a great message. thank you for writing what i think, but dont know how to express. wicked job.
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Post by T.J. Barber on Mar 31, 2004 18:36:33 GMT -5
Hey, great job. I don't get enough chances to reply to poetry but this one was very good!
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Post by rinna(on leave...for eternity) on May 6, 2004 6:51:47 GMT -5
nice flow, really enjoyed!
x rinna x
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