Hunter
Virtuoso
Fallen Angel
Posts: 287
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Post by Hunter on May 15, 2004 7:43:45 GMT -5
The Other Woman
in the dead of night
you came to me
to tell me what he had done
he was missing again
you knew where he was
with another woman
I held you as you cried
felt the pain you feel
knew how much you love him
I drove you home
made sure you were okay
told you I was there for you
before returning to my bed
where he lay waiting
where he’d hidden from you
you see
I’m the other woman
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Post by bloodredtears on May 15, 2004 20:15:38 GMT -5
oh wow...this poem really made me feel some strong emotions...first i felt really sorry for that other woman...and then it made me hate you...well the you in the poem at any rate...i can't stand people who two-time others...my friend did that once and well..lets just say our relationship is rocky and barely surviving.....great piece..really draws forth emotion!
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Hunter
Virtuoso
Fallen Angel
Posts: 287
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Post by Hunter on May 15, 2004 21:20:28 GMT -5
Thanks  |
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Chaotic_Thetis
Apprentice
Bleed me! For i have witnessed yet remained silent.Slay me! For i had your love and kept it.
Posts: 142
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Post by Chaotic_Thetis on May 16, 2004 9:14:11 GMT -5
I liked the twist in the end, the deception and the over all story that was exposed here. However i felt it lacked description, it felt more like you were telling the reader what happened rather than showing them, which would've had more of a concept to it.
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Post by Mikepoet on May 16, 2004 15:27:19 GMT -5
Wow! I'll put this on my list of favorites of yours until your next best one that is. Just a matter of   |
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Eclipse
Apprentice
It's not a matter of luck, it's just a matter of time.
Posts: 222
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Post by Eclipse on May 16, 2004 17:52:41 GMT -5
damn the twist at the end is great. awesome write.
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Hunter
Virtuoso
Fallen Angel
Posts: 287
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Post by Hunter on May 16, 2004 19:15:43 GMT -5
Thank you.
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