Skye
Novice
MeRrY cHrIsTmAs!!!
Posts: 18
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Post by Skye on Mar 2, 2004 22:34:22 GMT -5
You think you know yourself,
But who knows what lies behind…
Fall back and look at your faults,
Realize you can change them,
I don’t understand what my mind is telling me,
I know you hear me,
I can see it,
I can feel it.
Your letting yourself down,
Don’t come to an end…
Don’t torment the blind,
Your mind…
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Post by +Criminal Passion+ on Mar 2, 2004 23:50:53 GMT -5
Yep...
There is a mystery in each of us,
))
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sweetest17sin
Virtuoso
don't frown! you never know who's falling in love with your smile!
Posts: 252
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Post by sweetest17sin on Mar 3, 2004 0:02:47 GMT -5
nice job!
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Post by Persephone on Mar 3, 2004 5:18:26 GMT -5
Interesting insight.
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Post by JosephScottMorris on Mar 3, 2004 10:38:24 GMT -5
Hello,
I like your poem, Indeed interesting write,not sure if your open for a critique?Thanks for sharing it! ;DJoe
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Skye
Novice
MeRrY cHrIsTmAs!!!
Posts: 18
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Post by Skye on Mar 3, 2004 20:37:09 GMT -5
yes, I am up for critique. Anyways...Thank you for reviewing:) all of you!~Skye
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Post by JosephScottMorris on Mar 4, 2004 0:30:36 GMT -5
As a suggestion only; maybe something like this?
Example:
........
You think you know yourself,
But who knows what lies behind?
Fall back and look at your faults,
Realize you can change them.
I don’t understand,
what my mind is telling me?
I know you hear me,
I can see it,
I can feel it.
Your letting yourself down,
Don’t come to an end…
Don’t torment the blind,
Your mind…
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Skye
Novice
MeRrY cHrIsTmAs!!!
Posts: 18
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Post by Skye on Mar 5, 2004 23:32:43 GMT -5
well... on the line... (where you put a question mark) "what my mind is telling me?" It's not a question... so I don't think it needs a question mark... But Thank you!~:)Skye
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amberputis
Virtuoso
~Dreams are determined by our hearts, and our dreams design the future~
Posts: 330
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Post by amberputis on Mar 7, 2004 12:13:49 GMT -5
good  |
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Skye
Novice
MeRrY cHrIsTmAs!!!
Posts: 18
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Post by Skye on Mar 7, 2004 14:23:59 GMT -5
thanks
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