I Miss...

amberputis
Virtuoso

~Dreams are determined by our hearts, and our dreams design the future~

Posts: 330

I Miss... Feb 15, 2004 0:17:46 GMT -5

Quote

Post by amberputis on Feb 15, 2004 0:17:46 GMT -5

I miss that smile
that incredible smile, how it made me melt
I miss that touch
that silky smooth touch, I only remember how it felt
I miss those eyes
those gorgeous blue eyes, staring directly in mine
I miss those lips
those tasty lips, how they played so kind
I miss the warmth
the sensational warmth, that filled throughout my heart
I miss that feeling
that amazing feeling, that's gone since we're apart
Oh how I miss those things you do
I only wish I could say that I don't miss you

Last Edit: Feb 15, 2004 15:25:18 GMT -5 by amberputis

Amber

SilverEyes Poet Laureate Silver eyes crying crimson tears. Posts: 609	I Miss... Feb 15, 2004 1:53:51 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by SilverEyes on Feb 15, 2004 1:53:51 GMT -5 Wonderful write, I can definitely relate.
	You know I'm dying to live Until I'm ready I'm ready to die ~Jonny Lang~

Chaotic_Thetis Apprentice Bleed me! For i have witnessed yet remained silent.Slay me! For i had your love and kept it. Posts: 142	I Miss... Feb 15, 2004 9:23:44 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Chaotic_Thetis on Feb 15, 2004 9:23:44 GMT -5 Would sound better in a song of some sort, the last two lines seem to read the best and if the rest of the poem could read like that, then that would be a vast improvement.
	A woman who choses the writing profession often does so as to give herself a rank within a male-dominated society

sweetest17sin Virtuoso don't frown! you never know who's falling in love with your smile! Posts: 252	I Miss... Feb 15, 2004 20:20:21 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by sweetest17sin on Feb 15, 2004 20:20:21 GMT -5 hey...nice job on this one. i really liked how you repeated what you missed describing it...that was good!
	somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile, so when you are lonely remember it's true; somebody, somewhere is thinking of you!

richie Virtuoso Posts: 302	I Miss... Feb 18, 2004 14:24:55 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by richie on Feb 18, 2004 14:24:55 GMT -5 I like this too, I agree it could be turned into a song having said that good writing. Richie.
	from childhood's hour I have not been as others were-I have not seen as others saw-I could not bring my passions from a common spring from the same sourse I have not taken my sorrow: I could not awaken my heart to joy at the same tone and all I loved I loved alone.

Eclipse Apprentice It's not a matter of luck, it's just a matter of time. Posts: 222	I Miss... Feb 18, 2004 16:44:05 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Eclipse on Feb 18, 2004 16:44:05 GMT -5 nice write. i also like how you said the things you missed about someone. Sometimes it's the little things we miss the most...
	You saw what you get If you take what you take. Look in the eyes of the test. It's all because... Now there's a feeling I get. When I look to the left. But we can never be sensed. Our searching for a sign.

imaginary goddess #5 Novice shape me into something I never will be, and you'll find out this facade was an escape from reality. Posts: 69	I Miss... Feb 18, 2004 22:59:28 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by imaginary goddess #5 on Feb 18, 2004 22:59:28 GMT -5 I imagine it would be a well-written song, however its still lovely and bittersweet as this short poem. nice job - Lianna
	- Lianna Last one left of our lineage - don't forget us. imaginary goddesses. "shallowed up in the sound of my screaming cannot cease for the fear of silent nights oh how i long for the deep sleep dreaming the goddess of imaginary light..." - Evanescence

bloodredtears Legend I don't entirely think I've had enough rum to allow that kind of talk. Posts: 1,164	I Miss... Feb 21, 2004 4:12:23 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by bloodredtears on Feb 21, 2004 4:12:23 GMT -5 i really like this alot...the repetition makes it very good...i especially love the last two lines because i feel exactly the same way about someone i know...great job!
	Poetry copyright of Bloodredtears Summer has flown its nest, as the days swiftly turn to fall and we start to roost in the bosom of winter.

JosephScottMorris Apprentice Posts: 157	I Miss... Feb 23, 2004 2:06:54 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by JosephScottMorris on Feb 23, 2004 2:06:54 GMT -5 Amber, I like your poem and I think it is well written,Thanks for sharing it! ;DJoe

Post by amberputis on Feb 15, 2004 0:17:46 GMT -5

Post by SilverEyes on Feb 15, 2004 1:53:51 GMT -5

Post by Chaotic_Thetis on Feb 15, 2004 9:23:44 GMT -5

Post by sweetest17sin on Feb 15, 2004 20:20:21 GMT -5

Post by richie on Feb 18, 2004 14:24:55 GMT -5

Post by Eclipse on Feb 18, 2004 16:44:05 GMT -5

Post by imaginary goddess #5 on Feb 18, 2004 22:59:28 GMT -5

Post by bloodredtears on Feb 21, 2004 4:12:23 GMT -5

Post by JosephScottMorris on Feb 23, 2004 2:06:54 GMT -5