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Post by amelie on Mar 3, 2004 23:04:40 GMT -5
And when I am old, After a lifetime of you; My face like a survey map Of the Annapurna range, Will I still be worth the climb? My valleys and peaks, Eroded by time and gravity; Will you still thrill At the view from the top? At least the journey down Will be less steep.
And when I am frumping On the beach, white of flesh, In black support costume; Mistaken by children For a marooned Orca; Will you take me To the shore and carry Me through the surf? Wanting me beneath The water line.
And In bed at night, Back to back after a fight; Will you feel my tremors, And catch the tears, So not a drop unnoticed Falls; take my hand And unlock the dream That you still love me; And wake me with A cup of tea and stolen Flower from the garden; Knowing I daren’t let on.
And will you play The game of ‘let’s pretend’ That you don’t know My words before I speak, But let me jolt, intrigue And delight with wit And perspicacity; Will you let me be Always your innocent, But keep my mystery, Staying out of My undies drawer.
Most of all, promise That knowledge will always Bring understanding, Compassion and forgiveness; And when I stumble I won’t hit ground; And prove this, From time to time, By offering to sleep In the wet patch.
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sweetest17sin
Virtuoso
don't frown! you never know who's falling in love with your smile!
Posts: 252
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Post by sweetest17sin on Mar 3, 2004 23:15:59 GMT -5
nice job!
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Post by JosephScottMorris on Mar 4, 2004 0:38:15 GMT -5
I enjoyed reading this, great imagery,formats great, over all Excellent write! ;DJoe
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Post by richie on Mar 4, 2004 3:45:52 GMT -5
I liked this a lot excellent poem richie
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Eclipse
Apprentice
It's not a matter of luck, it's just a matter of time.
Posts: 222
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Post by Eclipse on Mar 4, 2004 15:22:36 GMT -5
awesome write! i love each stanza.
In black support costume; Mistaken by children For a marooned Orca;
^^ heh that made me laugh for some reason. lovely write.
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amberputis
Virtuoso
~Dreams are determined by our hearts, and our dreams design the future~
Posts: 330
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Post by amberputis on Mar 7, 2004 12:20:18 GMT -5
great use of vocabulary. nicely done
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Post by Charli on Mar 10, 2004 18:51:30 GMT -5
Wow, awesome!
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