|
Post by T.J. Barber on Apr 2, 2004 17:48:14 GMT -5
Standing silent, pretty as can be. She stands there without a word as the music plays loudly. There one man standing alone in a corner. She see's his snarly smile as he slinks toward her like an animal seeking it's prey. She was truly unaware of what she was about to indure. He approached her gracefully with silent gestures. She knew what he wanted but she wasn't planning on giving it to him. "Hi," he says. "Hello", she replies. Talking for hours it seemed, he looks like a nice guy. But, was he? She did not know. "Excuse me for a moment" she says, as she quietly slipped to the bathroom. She was sitting in a stall trying to decide her next move. She was lonely, and her desire was stronger tonight that usual. What would she do? While she was trying to make her decision, he was taking things into his own hands. Her drink looked so inviting to the potion in his pocket. He stirred in his potion and awaited her return. She returned with her intentions in mind. She would have him tonight. But, it was him that would have her. She drank her drink with haste. Eager to leave the bar yet, almose scaired by her own desire.
An hour has now passed. She's now puddy in his hands. His for the taking.
|
|
|
Post by SilverEyes on Apr 4, 2004 2:14:03 GMT -5
Great job of describing one of the things I have to be really careful about in the future. The last few sentences just drive it all home. I like how you described the girl from the lonliness to her "decision."
I noticed a typo: "She was lonely, and she her desire was stronger tonight that usual."
|
|
|
Post by T.J. Barber on Apr 11, 2004 22:07:22 GMT -5
Thank for noticing that. I would have never seen it.
|
|
|
Post by John Barnett on Apr 19, 2004 14:18:59 GMT -5
TJ, that is yet another very good short story, you really have a knack for these things. This tale is a truthful and powerful description of date rape drugs and how you never know who's got them and when they are going to use them. This really does drive the nail home as SilverEyes said, especially the end, very good.
|
|