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One
Apr 12, 2004 16:57:40 GMT -5
Post by angel on Apr 12, 2004 16:57:40 GMT -5
A tear in her eye-
Shattered pieces of heart-
Broken brain-
Pulse slows down-
Breathing faster-
Eyes close.
Darkness.
Shadow follows-
Sadness emerges-
No hands reaching out.
All alone.
Nothing to hide from-
Except pain.
10-8-03
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One
Apr 13, 2004 20:07:14 GMT -5
Post by T.J. Barber on Apr 13, 2004 20:07:14 GMT -5
I could feel the pain from this one. The expression you showed throughout the entire poem. It was very decisive and nicely descriptive. You told the story well with so little words. Great Job, Tj
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One
Apr 13, 2004 20:10:32 GMT -5
Post by John Barnett on Apr 13, 2004 20:10:32 GMT -5
very intense wording and powerful senses behind the words, well done.
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One
Apr 17, 2004 16:23:19 GMT -5
Post by bloodredtears on Apr 17, 2004 16:23:19 GMT -5
i love this piece...especially the last two lines...great job!
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One
Apr 17, 2004 20:39:27 GMT -5
Post by angel on Apr 17, 2004 20:39:27 GMT -5
thank you! This is actually one of my favorites. I wrote 5 poems in one night in like a 5 to 10 minute period, and this was one of them. Ya, I would have to say that was a very hard night.
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